Settling, Dreaming

I was walking across campus this morning and all of a sudden thought to myself, "I am in a different state. This is my new home. I live here now." This is not uncommon. It happens almost every day without fail. It catches me by surprise that I am actually here. For most people who know me, I am sure it surprises them as well. Most of my family and friends (and even myself at times) did not believe that I would ever leave home. More so than that, many thought I wouldn't last long. I'd be lying if I said I didn't also believe that. So, every day that I am here, it blows my mind all over again. I am finally settling in and get used to life here. I was running some errands in town earlier this week and I got a warm, fuzzy feeling thinking about being on my own. I'm not going to lie. It is quite uncomfortable and lonely at times. I left the post office and was driving down some back roads and came upon the cutest house I have ever seen. I am not someone who just rides around looking for houses, or even someone who drives by people's homes and comments on how cute they are. This house, however, made me stop in the middle of the street. I caught a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye and slammed on my brakes to take it in. The bright For Rent signs also captured my attention. I'm not sure what it is, but there is something about this house that draws me to it. I find excuses to pass by it when I am driving. I have pictures of it on my phone. I daydream about living there. What is that even about? Lusting after a house? Is that sinful? Probably. I even started praying about it and speaking with friends/potential future housemates, planning out how life would be there. The cost per month to rent is ridiculous and it certainly would not be the smartest idea to rent this house..but as for now, I am under it's spell.