Wait 'til you see what happens next..

I am so thankful to see 2009 go. It was probably, besides 2003-2004, one of the worst years of my life. I feel as if it was a total waste, and I have no one to blame for that but myself. I sat around waiting for something big to happen, and I can now say with full confidence, that this is not how life works. Good things may come to those who wait, but life happens to those who are willing to take risks, fail horribly, get up, dust themselves off, and try again. I used the excuse this year that I was "waiting on God" for direction, and for what to do next. It wasn't until the end of the year, however, that someone called my bluff. And I, for one, am so thankful they did. They looked me in the eye and said these words(which changed life as I know it):

"Ya know, waiting is a verb. It's not some passive, sitting back, doing nothing, expecting God to speak. It's doing everything in our power to seek God and His will."

You see, it's so easy for us to make excuses for our life. Naturally, we don't like to own up to our selfishness, laziness, or other flaws. Yes, I was waiting on God. But, not once during the past year, was I actually seeking God. The truth is, I knew at the end of 2008 the next phase for my life. I spent the entire year of 2009 making excuses and running from that, because, to be honest, I was terrified. I don't like change. In fact, I loathe it. I love life the way it is. I love the people in my life. I have never minded just coasting through, being a bum, playing my music, and wasting life away. Until this past year, that was my life. 2009 was the most frustrating, emotional, miserable year of my life.Thank God for that. Thank God He gets our attention. And thank God He gets us where He wants us, even if He has to drag us kicking and screaming. The night after this person spoke this truth to my life, I made a decision. A terrifying, nerve-wracking, keeps me up at night, makes me nauseated thinking about it, so excited I can't stand the wait, want to go now, don't know how God is going to make this happen, totally relying on the Lord to get me there and through it decision that I have never been so sure about in my life. I've never experienced this overwhelming peace that surpasses all understanding. Along with that, I have also never felt so helpless. I know that this is something God must do, because there is no hope for me on my own. I am told at least once, and sometimes numerous times, a day how it will never happen. How I might as well forget it. That I'll never do it. To those who say these things, I would like to introduce you to my God. He spoke creation into existence. In fact, your existence is held together by the word of His power. He came to earth in the form of a man. Lived a perfect, sinless, blameless life. He died a gruesome death. But that is not all. He beat death. He conquered the grave. He rose again, and ascended into Heaven. He did all this so that I may become like Him. You see, living inside of me is the very same spirit, the very same power, that raised Christ from the dead. Therefore, I can stand before you today, look you square in the eye as you tell me how I will not be able to do this, and boldly proclaim, "Watch me."