The life we leave behind and the dreams we let die..

IIt's funny how things work out. 

It's also funny how they don't.

I did something today that I haven't done in a while. Something I love more than most things. 

I hit the hardwood. 

Much to my dismay, I'm not the basketball star I once thought I was. 

 Hah. I'm in the worst shape I've ever been in and I couldn't sink a shot to save my life. 

With that said, the game still held just as much fun for me. Just as much happiness. 

I felt like a child again (well, except for my aching bones) and I didn't want to stop playing. 

And it made me wonder...why did I?

I'm not going to pretend like I was some basketball prodigy, or even that I was decent, for that matter. In fact, I don't even think that I was ever on a winning team. But, that never seemed to matter to me. 

I loved the game. 

I still do. 

And as I was having the time of my life in that gym today, I had to ask myself when I gave up on it.

As I reflected back on the girl that I used to be, I remembered her thoughts, her dreams, and I heard her voice as clear as day playing in my mind. 

I'm gonna be a Lady Vol and play for Pat Summitt. 

Wow. 

I now catch myself chuckling at the idea. Every time I hear those words echo off the walls of my memory, I shake my head and say, "What was I thinking?"

But, you see, that's the thing. I wasn't thinking. I was too busy dreaming. 

When did I stop doing that? 

When did my free, invincible spirit shrivel up and begin to cower to such things as "reality" and "fear"? 

When did I leave behind the girl with a dream and is there any way that can I find her again?

Why do we tell children they can be anyone they want to be, but trade that speech in for a "gotta grow up sometime" or a "be realistic" the minute they're within arms reach of a high school diploma?

Where have all the dreamers gone?

Oh, that's right. 

We fed 'em a heaping spoonful of reality, threw 'em in a nice suit and told them to "go make something of themselves". 

If there is one thing I regret in my life, it is that I let fear and the reality that I'm not the best keep me from even trying to be good enough. It is that I left that girl behind and I let that dream die. 

Because now and forevermore, that dream is out of reach. 

And I'll never know where it could have taken me or who it could have made me. 

Here's to new dreams. Here's to no fear, no excuses, no regrets. Here's to trying. 

Cheers.